warning: this is not a warm fuzzy christmas message
please note: i am not anti-christmas
oh, and one other thing: santa was so very good to me this year
- many thanks to all those who were his agents of delight!
having said all that, here goes ... this week has been maximum
suckage. sad, but true. it all started last
saturday when i worked a casino for my mom (insert obligatory, "can
mormons DO that?" and "do you have to go to confession for that?' comments here). good cause, good mom, good volunteers to work with, good food - good choice. it was, however, a late one ... i suspect that the two very late nights set the pattern for the rest of the night owl week.
monday - went for lunch with a good friend visiting from out of town. as i drove over, the car started making weird noises (i know, you are sick of hearing about my car woes - believe me, i am sick of having them!) and i ignored them because i couldn't face the fear of the mechanic's bill and still enjoy lunch with my friend. i suspected my
cv joint (WHATEVER THAT IS!) was gone. turns out it was a flat tire. uh,
yah. drove across town on a flat tire. i am so freaking brilliant. my she-
ra friend put on my spare for me in -30 weather (good thing i bought her lunch,
hmm??). trying to avoid the freeway, i got lost on the way home (screaming in my car all the way) and ended up driving on the freeway anyway (after
aimlessly driving through a neighbourhood full of homes that should house small villages, not one family) and learned i was driving on a FLAT SPARE. but i was there too late to do anything about it, so i went home and pretended the day (except the part where i had lunch with my friend) didn't happen.
tuesday - went to work, took the car into the shop, had to buy a new tire, blah, blah, blah. lots of money spent, and none of it where it was budgeted!!
grrrr.
wednesday - this day had a lot of highlights ... even though the pervasive feeling of stress continued. mom and i had our
christmas day and it was full of pampering (a day at the spa!), yummy
thai food, and fun entertainment (watched "
mamma mia"). all in all, another stellar
christmas for me and the
mommie dearest.
thursday - this would be the actual day of
christmas, and it was good - but very non-traditional ... dad and i saw a movie ("the dark
knight") and went to dinner - at
HUMPTY'S of all places. classic. while there, i bit the inside i my lip and it bled for 10 minutes. it is still painful more than 2 days later. it is stuff like that that just ratches up the cranky dial!
note: all of these nights have included staying up far too late reading and just having whirly brain (you know what i mean - when your brain just won't turn off??) ... friday - i played the part of the hibernating bear and read a book and played hearts and free cell until i was sure i would dream of them ... which i did.
saturday - the piece
de resistance ... took my mom grocery shopping, was already at my cranky limit and i proceeded to LOCK MY KEYS IN THE CAR WHILE IT WAS RUNNING. heaven help me i am going to go postal on the next person who in any way, shape or form raises my cranky-o-meter!!! $88 later i was the proud owner of an AMA membership and access to my car was restored. i then had
christmas dinner with my dad and sisters and we exchanged presents. now here i am - venting on the blog so i can (hopefully) let it all go and enjoy my
sunday - make it a new start (or any other
pollyanna cliche you want to share) ... i sure do need an attitude adjustment (not to mention a chiropractic one, come to think of it).
okay here is the bah humbug part ... i know i was extra stressed because it is the holidays. when you are from a split - then blended - family, the holidays can cause a little extra stress as you work out who is going where when and with whom. for years it was
christmas eve with mom and
christmas day with dad, the step-monster and the girls. with a second family split, it is now a "catch-me-if-you-can" circus and i really don't like it. i want us to be friendly, giving, loving, and spend time together all year round. and since that doesn't happen, no matter how much i know i shouldn't, i put too much pressure on one day to make up for that lack of time the rest of the year. i tried really hard this year to "chill" and let things happen as they would - and i think i did a really good job of that for the most part. but i am not impressed that as i was trying to do so all these other annoyances got in the way. hello!?! i don't recall praying for patience - so why am i being given so many
opportunities to cultivate it!?
anyway ... if you are still reading this (and you truly rock if you are) - please know that while this week was not my favorite of the year, this next week IS my favorite! i love the new year! i love setting goals, and making plans for all i want to accomplish, reflecting back on what i achieved and where i fell short - and most importantly, how i feel about both my successes and failures.
bye bye
christmas (with all its unattainable expectations), and hello fresh start new year (with all its potential for growth and happiness)!
