in my perfect world, living my dreams would pay the bills. in my reality, my dreams are lived in volunteer hours.
one of the main reasons i chose to stop pursuing a career as an actor, many years ago, was that i wanted the security of a regular paycheque and benefits coverage - and just some plain old stability (to balance out the life of complete instability i had lived up to that point).
turns out i didn't get that stability anyway. i moved from company to company, city to city, even country to country!
so, a few years ago, i started putting the dreams centre stage (so to speak), and i have been unbelievably happy with that choice. on saturday i will close my 3rd show in 8 months (two as an actor, one as a lighting operator), and i wouldn't want to trade those experiences for anything.
unfortunately, as i have pursued these adventures, i have limited my hours available for work and the corresponding pay and benefits that go with them. by choosing to do contract work instead of working for one employer, i have uncertain employment opportunities, and i have to pay for all my prescriptions myself - among other challenges. after paying off half my debt in 3 years, i am now perilously close to increasing it instead of continuing to eliminate it. i have decreased my variable spending (as opposed to fixed costs - rent, insurance, etc) by HALF of what i budgeted this time last year, and i am still struggling to get by.
not to mention, i ain't getting any younger (as working with a cast that is 1/2 my age with 4 times my energy level has proven quite clearly)!
but ... while i know (and feel) i have a duty to pay off debt and meet all my other financial obligations, i also believe i have a duty to foster and expand my talents and even, yes, give life to my dreams. i have some ideas on how to achieve this, and a plan (short-, mid- and long-range), and i am following it day by day, but how to find that ever-elusive balance is today's big question and challenge.
i am inviting your input - how do YOU balance your dreams with doing your duty?
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2 words from readers:
I feel your pain. Academia certainly has not been financially rewarding, but fulfilling in other ways. Still, at times I can't help but envy those who are making more and don't have the fear of not meeting bills that I do. However, I am doing what I love......no real insights, on this comment. Just support.
I don't have any insight yet as I'm still figuring that out myself, but I think abandoning your dreams is absolutely the wrong thing to do.
I mean, I don't think a person fully lives their life if they give up their dream entirely. And realistically, a lot of people can't live their dream fully because of family/debt/personal issues, and other goals they may have. But if they find a way to honour it, somehow...
My current job isn't terrible, but I don't want to be stuck with it. However, it is letting me take the workshops I want to and is paying the rent(and the schedule flexibility is amazing!). But I have taken the step of cutting back by one day a week, and am looking into possibly opening an Etsy shop. So I'm working towards my dream all the time, but I sympathize with your fears too.
We can do it!
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